Sunday, 9 May 2010

Politics Explained



FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

(Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.)
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Wednesday, 24 March 2010

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New Photoshop Demo

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Tuesday, 23 March 2010

The BBC Wildlife magazine archives

Master your photography skills with expert advice from the best nature photographers....

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Monday, 15 March 2010

Good Night Story

I found this video the other night and couldn't stop watching it (I don't know why).
It's very irritating but like a mosquito bite u must itch... 


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Sunday, 14 March 2010

True Story II

During a recent PASSWORD AUDIT at the Bank Of Ireland
it was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password:


MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyDublin


When Paddy was asked why he had such a long password,
he replied:
''Bejazus !  Are yez stupid ?  Shore Oi was told me password had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital.''
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Thursday, 11 March 2010

True Story I "Apparition can be deceptive"

Submitted by a Primary school girl for a homework assignment, sheer class!






After it was marked and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:
Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at B&Q and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This picture is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington




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